Hard Working Traditional Values With A Dash of Fun

Hard Working Traditional Values With A Dash of Fun

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Fiddlin' - Be Prepared for Gay Scouting

UPDATED 5/22/2015

The Boy Scouts just announced that they are going to relook at allowing guy men to become scout leaders. How many parents are looking forward to this type of leadership on campouts?


If you think the gay mafia will be satisfied with the recent decision to allow children who claim to be gay to remain in scouting, you have not been watching them closely.  They won't be satisfied until gays are also allowed to serve as scout leaders and redefine scout values. Look for more strong armed tactics until they get their way.

One interesting thing about writing parody songs is how, in many cases, you can keep quite a few of the original words, but they have a whole different message.  I know there are gays that support traditional values, but unfortunately, they are not leading the gay agenda.

to the tune of Be Prepared from The Lion King


I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as a Webelo's backside
But thick as you are, pay attention
My words are the truth of gay pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking gay rights ascension
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a change of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer

Will old values teeter?

It’s time for gay leaders
I know it sounds sordid
But you'll be rewarded
When at last we are given our dues
And injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared!

Yeah, Be prepared.
Yeah-heh... we'll be prepared, heh.
...For what?

For the death of their King.

Why? Is he sick?

No, fool-- we're going to forget Him. 
And chastity too.


Great idea! Who needs The King?

Shenzi (and then Banzai):
No King! No King! la--la-la--la-laa-laa!

Idiots! There will be a king!

Hey, but you said, uh...

Queerness will be king! ...Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry again!

Shenzi and Banzai: 
Yaay! All right! Long live Queerness!

All Hyenas:
Long live Queer! Long live Queer!

Full song again
It's great that they'll have gay scoutmasters. 
All that’s Queer will be all-time adored.

We’ll of course, dump the bigoted pastor
And replace his values on board
The future is littered with prizes
Recruits for the GLBT
The point that I must emphasize is
There won't be Boy Scouts without me!
So prepare for the coup of the century
Be prepared for the murkiest scam
(Oooh... La! La! La!)
Meticulous planning
(We'll have boys!)
Tenacity spanning
(Lots of boys)
Decades of denial
(We repeat)
Is simply why I'll
(Endless meat)
Gay rights undisputed
Respected, saluted
And seen for the wonder it is
Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!

Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!

For an index of all Fiddling Ant parody songs, click here.

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Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A Communist Sympathizer in the White House

Many people question whether many of the choices made by the current occupants of the White House are in the best interests of the United States.  The Obamas may have more than a few faults, but they have nothing on the Franklin Roosevelt White House.

Henry A. Wallace, Roosevelt's vice president from 1941 to 1944, was an admirer of Stalin and communist Russia. Had Roosevelt not replaced him with Harry Truman for his last term, the United States may have ended up with a president whose views were closer to Karl Marx than Adam Smith.

Even worse was Franklin's wife Eleanor who, crazy as it sounds, took steps to protect a communist mole in the Treasury Department. Harry Dexter White, was the number two man in the Treasury Department and an influential policy maker.  In 1941 communist Russia found itself in the desperate struggle for survival against Nazi Germany which invaded Russia during the summer. Stalin's bumbling military leadership made things worse and Russia casualties quickly rose over 1 million.  Russia had another million troops protecting the border in the east against Japan.  If Russia could get Japan and America to go to war, the troops could be moved to fight the Germans. The American public was in no mood to go to war with either Germany or Japan.  Japan was at war with China, then a friend of the United States, and the U.S. took economic steps with the hopes that it would curtail Japanese aggression. White realized that these steps were reasonable and not likely to escalate into a conflict, so he drafted a hard line list of demands he knew Japan would reject.  He was able to get the Roosevelt administration to adopt this as official U.S. policy and Japan felt trapped. The result was Pearl Harbor. Russia was now able to move its Asia troops west to fight Germany.

White continued to serve the interests of the Soviets for the balance of the war. In 1944 Finnish troops fighting the Russians captured a diplomatic code book. Recognizing the value this information would have, the Finns sold the book to the United States.  The FBI had long known that there were secret messages going out from Russian agents in the United States, but they did not know what these messages said because they were in code.  Now they had the code book and were able to read everything. Much to their surprise they were able to identify White as working for the Russians. Was he stopped and arrested?

No, Eleanor Roosevelt found out about the code book and was furious that the United States would be reading the secret messages of one of our allies. She ordered the book returned to the Soviets who immediately changed the code. White was allowed to stay in office and continue to work for Soviet interests

The lesson to take from this is that it is important to know who we elect to positions of responsibility. Unfortunately, there are some politicians who think the interests of some foreign countries are more important than our own.

For more details on this story read
Operation Snow: How a Soviet Mole in FDR's White House Triggered Pearl Harbor

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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Lotteries Are For Losers

One of the big stories this week is about the latest Powerball lottery winner.  We don't know who it is yet, but the winner won more than $590 million. That may sound like a great thing, but in reality there is a lot of Stupid going around when it comes to lotteries.

Stupid Fact One - You're Odds of Winning Are Less Than in Vegas

In Vegas you will see casinos advertise that they payout 97 percent on slots, meaning for every dollar bet by the public, the casino keeps 3 cents and returns 97 cents in prizes to winners. With government lotteries you are most likely only seeing 50 percent used for prizes. The government keeps the rest, plus it taxes your winnings.

Stupid Fact Two - Lotteries Don't Provide More Revenue to State Projects

Some people who won't gamble in Vegas are okay with spending money on lottery tickets because the money goes to a good cause. Not really.  Whether lottery revenue is used for schools or parks or some other popular government program, state legislatures have long figured out that if their state lottery is a source of revenue, they can cut funding from regular tax sources. So lotteries don't really bring in more money for these favorite programs.

Stupid Fact Three - Lotteries Are A Lousy Investment

Except for social security payments that workers are forced to pay, most Americans set nothing aside for retirement, and yet millions of Americans spend $30 or more each month on lottery tickets. If they win big they are set for retirement. Remember, the government is only giving back 50 percent in prizes so in order to have any chance of winning you have to play a lot, but even if you win, you don't win much.  Walter Hickey with The Business Insider reports that to have a 99 percent chance of winning the lotto you have to buy 145 $2 tickets. The most common prize is $4. Do the math, who wants to spend $290 to win $4? Stupid. Plus, even if you win a big prize, guess what? The government could take up to 50% in taxes.

What would happen if you took that same $30 per month wasted on lottery tickets and invested it in a Roth IRA mutual fund from age 18 to age 67. That's a total of $18,000 invested over 50 years. Based on past stock market history, it is very possible that your investment could grow at an average 8% per year and you would have around $250,000, tax free. If you managed to earn an average 10%, you would have around $500,000, tax free. And if you managed to earn an average 12%, you would have around $1,000,000, tax free.

Weigh the difference -- the potential winnings from 9,000 $2 lottery tickets or $250,000 to $1,000,000?

Stupid Fact Four - Lottery Winners Lose it All

You may or may not be surprised to learn that over 70% of big lottery prize winners go bankrupt.  The type of people that think lotteries are a smart investment are not likely to all of a sudden smarten up when they become millionaires. The lives of many past lottery winners read like a tabloid -- divorces, affairs, scandals, court fights, even murders. It turns out the same skills it takes to Get Rich Quick are the ones to Get Poor Quick.

Repeat after me -- Lotteries are for losers.

Monday, May 13, 2013

IRS Abuse Began With FDR

UPDATE - September 23, 2014

The recent Ken Burns PBS documentary about the Roosevelts has drawn attention once more to the most influential Democrat president in modern times. Geoffrey Ward, who wrote the dialogue for the 14 hour program, played it safe and made sure that viewers would continue treating Franklin Roosevelt as a hero. Actions that reflected well on Roosevelt were given prominence, while actions that where harmful, such as Roosevelt's programs to fight the depression were whitewashed or ignored.

The I.R.S. has made headlines for targeting conservative groups for extra scrutiny solely based on their opposing ideology. Roosevelt's abuse of I.R.S. powers was much worse. Given this repetition of history, it would make sense to include this part of Roosevelt's story. But since it reflects poorly on Roosevelt and would be a reminder of Obama's I.R.S. scandal, it was totally ignored.

When Roosevelt became president, the I.R.S. was only 20 years old. Roosevelt decided that using the I.R.S. to go after (or not go after) his friends and enemies was a legitimate use of government power.

Louisiana Senator Huey Long was a Roosevelt opponent. He got investigated by the I.R.S. Newspaper mogul William Randolph Hearst opposed FDR so he got investigated by the I.R.S. Father Charles Coughlin, a priest with a popular national radio program was critical of FDR, so he also was investigated by the I.R.S. Roosevelt was embarrassed that the congressman who represented his home New York district was a Republican so he sent the I.R.S. to audit Hamilton Fish. Fish challenged the IRS in court and won.

Reigning in the I.R.S. was just as much a political tool for FDR. Frank Hague, mayor of Jersey City was widely reported to be mishandling government funds, but he was an FDR supporter who delivered key votes in his area that resulted in New Jersey switching from Republican support to Democrat support. When reports of misconduct got too big to ignore, FDR ordered the I.R.S. to look the other way. Roosevelt's support for his political friends prevented a young Lyndon B. Johnson from being investigated by the I.R.S. for failing to properly report income.

The Great Depression went on for a full decade, most of it while Roosevelt was president. FDR's propensity to use the I.R.S. to go after his enemies did nothing to help the country recover and no doubt made things worse, since people who could make better choices than Roosevelt were scared into towing the line or else face the wrath of the I.R.S.

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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Ayn Rand vs. C. S. Lewis

Ayn Rand (1905-1982) and C. S. Lewis  (1989-1963) were contemporaries.  Now more than thirty years after Rand's death and fifty years from Lewis's death (he died the same day as John F. Kennedy) they remain influential with official websites, Facebook pages and college courses dedicated to their teachings.

So in 2013, who has the larger influence?

Google references?

Lewis wins 24 million vs. 11 million for Rand

Official website?

Rand (http://www.aynrand.org) wins Alexa Traffic Rank = 138,360 vs. Lewis (http://www.cslewis.org/) 1,356,384

Facebook likes?

Lewis wins with 764,517 likes vs. Rand's 343,040 likes

Amazon book sales?

Lewis is ranked #92 of the top 100 authors on Amazon. Rand did not make the list.

Movie adoptions?

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe earned over $700 million. Atlas Shrugged Part I lags at $10 million. Ouch.

I think Rand is overrated and falsely grouped with conservatives, which is one of the main reasons I wrote Atlas Shrugged Jesus Wept.  Conservatives can find a much better model for society by reading Lewis instead of Rand.

To see how narrow and small minded Rand was, see Ayn Rand Really, Really Hated C.S. Lewis

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Monday, May 6, 2013

Fiddlin' - The Motherly Way

Mother’s Day is coming soon. Here is another song written to honor mom.

Sung to the tune of “The Company Way” from Frank Loesser’s “How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying”

When I joined this fam
As a brash young man,
Well, I said to myself,
"Now, brash young man,
Don't get any ideas."
Well, I stuck to that,
And I haven't had one in years.

You play it safe.

I play it the motherly way;
Wherever my dear mommy puts me
There I stay.

But what is your point of view?

I have no point of view.

Supposing your dear mommy thinks . . .

I think so too.

Now, what would you say . . .?

I wouldn't say.

Your face is your dear mommy’s face.

It smiles at my grandparents
Then goes back in place.

The motherly furniture?

Oh, it suits me fine.

The motherly counseling?

A valentine.

Anything you're against?


When she wants brilliant thinking
From her children

That is no concern of mine.

Suppose a child of genius
Makes suggestions?

Watch that genius get a whack on his behind.

So you play it the motherly way?

All motherly policy is by me OK.

You'll never rise up to the top.

But there's one thing clear:
Whoever my dear mommy chastens,
I will still be here.

Oh, you certainly found a home!

It's cozy.

Your brain is your dear mommy’s brain.

My dear mommy washed it,
Now I can't complain.

Hey, your dear mommy’s choice of clothes!

Oh, what style, what punch!

Your dear mommy’s cooking skills!

Ev'ry day same lunch:
Her tuna fish sandwich; it's delicious!

I must try it.

(Early in the week.)

Do you have any hobbies?

I've a hobby; I play games with baby sis.

Baby sis! And do you play it nicely?

Play it nicely . . . still, she blitzes me
In every game, like that!


'Cause I play it my dear mommy’s way.
Matriarchal policy is by me OK.

Oh, how can you get anywhere?

Junior, have no fear;
Whoever my dear mommy chastens,
I will still be here.

You will still be here.

Year after year after fiscal,
Never sass our mom-al year!