Hard Working Traditional Values With A Dash of Fun

Hard Working Traditional Values With A Dash of Fun

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Poker Playing Presidents - Winners and a Loser

I read a lot of history books and I've noticed a very interesting pattern -- Presidents who are good poker players also are good at foreign relations.

Poker is more than just a game of chance. It is all about reading people better than they read you and getting them to believe you have a good hand, even if you don't, so you win even with a poor hand. We have had three good poker player presidents that did our country proud in the area of foreign relations.

Harry Truman was an avid poker player, even having a set of poker chips set up with the presidential seal. His idea of a vacation was to get together with friends and play poker. When he became president when Franklin Roosevelt died, some in his cabinet worried he was a lightweight, not adequate for the job. However, historians have since recognized that Truman got most of the big decisions right. He decided to drop the atom bomb. He developed the Truman Doctrine to contain communism. He stood up to the Soviets in supplying Berlin. He sacked the popular General MacArthur in Korea. He supported the creation of Israel. He pushed for the Marshall Plan that helped Europe recover after WWII.

Dwight Eisenhower learned poker as a boy from an illiterate outdoorsman who was an expert player. He taught Eisenhower all the percentages that many players don't know about or use. Eisenhower was so good he was able to augment his meager military income from his poker winnings. At times, his wife had to get him to stop so his fellow officers would not go broke. He was such an intense player that he had to switch to bridge when he was President so it would not affect his health. Eisenhower used his poker skills to successfully handle the alliance of American, British, French, and Russian forces in Europe during WWII. In eight years as President, during the early years of the Cold War with the new threat of hydrogen bombs, he was able to stare down all the Soviet leaders from Stalin to Khrushchev. Curiously, once he was out of office it didn't take Kennedy too long to stumble into the Bay of Pigs fiasco and a disastrous first summit with Khrushchev. Eisenhower ended the Korean War and kept us out of war for the balance of the 1950's despite plenty of opportunities for involvement (such as Vietnam). America was in good shape vis a vis the Soviets at the end of Eisenhower's term.

Richard Nixon was a killer poker player while serving in the Navy during WWII. He did so well that he brought home $10,000 at the end of the war, quite a lot of money in 1945. He was able to use the funds to bankroll his first campaign for congress. Nixon, of course, gets panned for the Watergate scandal, but he is widely recognized for his expertise with foreign policy. He opened relations with Russian ally China to undermine Soviet influence and got the Soviets to negotiate on nuclear disarmament.

Barack Obama became a poker player in order to network with other politicians in Chicago. People that played with him rated him a mediocre player who could win with a good hand, but not when he had a poor hand. He can't bluff and had a reputation as a pushover. A article in the Daily Beast provides more damning details. There are few nonpartisan people that can recognize Obama's foreign policy as anything other than a disaster. Does anyone have confidence that Obama can handle Palestine-Isreal, Syria, North Korea, Iran, and most recently Russia?

Poker just isn't Obama's game. He's a basketball guy, but basketball needs a ref for the game to work. In case you haven't noticed, Vladimir Putin does not play with a ref.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Tea Party Triple Threat

You know that something harmful to liberals is about to explode when a book written by establishment Yale law school professors gets skewered by the left even before is it published.  Time Magazine did a pre-publication article on The Triple Package: How Three Unlikely Traits Explain the Rise and Fall of Cultural Groups in America by  that turned out to be a hit piece by New York University professor Suketu Mehta who labeled the book racist. In many circles, there is nothing worse that you can be than racist.

I think that part of Mehta's beef with this book is that it should be coming from the likes of Glenn Beck or Ann Coulter who can be dismissed as conservative loonies. Unfortunately, the book is written by a husband-wife team of Yale law professors with impeccable establishment credentials, what's more, they back up their ¨racist¨ views with 88 pages of fine print end notes. So, in typical liberal fashion, when you can't argue facts, you start name calling - ¨You racist.¨

The uncomfortable message of The Triple Package is that (horrors!) some cultures are more successful than others. And equally horrendous, the reason they are successful is that they reject modern American values of promoting fairness, high self esteem, instant gratification, and diversity. The authors are actually very apologetic in presenting their arguments, knowing that their conclusions are very disturbing to many liberals who embrace and promote the current decedent culture. 

The Triple Package is 1) having a superiority complex, 2) insecurity, and 3) impulse control. Their research discovered that there are eight cultural groups in America that do far better than other groups because they embrace these three elements. They earn more, achieve greater accomplishments, and reach higher levels of major responsibility. Cubans do better than other Latino groups. Nigerians do better than other black groups. Chinese and Indians do better than other Asian groups. Iranians and Lebanese do better than other Middle Eastern groups. Jews and Mormons do better than other religious groups.

Groups that do not have the Triple Package like the descendants of black slaves, hillbillies, and the Amish do not achieve the same levels of accomplishment and as groups attain lower than average incomes and achievements.

The proof, inherently obvious to conservatives, has now been verified by accredited academics -- not all cultures are equal.

The authors clearly point out that you can have Triple Package traits even if you come from a non-Triple Package culture, but it is a lot harder to get there without the cultural support.

You can see the result of Triple Package traits in American history. the American culture at the time of the American Revolution had the triple package. They thought they were better than the Europeans, yet they were insecure about it as exhibited by their desires to follow the latest European fashion. And of course they were all about impulse control, living on the frontier makes you pretty self reliant and focused on the future. and contributed to our early success as a country. 

Modern America no longer has this key combination to greater success. As a nation we may still think we are better than other countries, but we no longer try harder and we lack self control.

If you apply the Triple Package model to current political philosophies, there are two losers and only one winner. The Democrats don't believe America is better than others, their mission is to eliminate insecurity and they have no impulse control. 

The establishment Republicans have no insecurity (since they are already rich or well off) and also have displayed lack of impulse control. To me it is clear that the only political culture that embraces the Triple Package is the much maligned Tea Party, but the facts clearly support Tea Party values as what America needs.

The triple package formula for success should result in continued increase in power by the Tea Party.  It predicts more representation and greater leadership positions for Tea Party politicians in Congress and the Senate.

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Friday, March 21, 2014

Suicide - No Rolling Stone Satisfaction

Once again headlines tell us that the glamorous life of the rich and famous is not without some major downsides. Earlier this week Rolling Stone's bad boy Mick Jagger's girlfriend L'Wren Scott committed suicide. She left no suicide note, but speculation for the cause is the high debt of her fashion designer business.

Perhaps her jet-setting lifestyle was more than she could handle, especially for someone who had made a 180 degree turn from her childhood upbringing. L'Wren, who was adopted as a child, was raised by Mormon parents. Mormons, it goes without saying, have pretty conservative values and the Paris fashion modeling scene combined with cohabiting with a promiscuous rock star is not a good fit for a culture that does not get any edgier than Donnie and Marie Osmond. Scott was estranged from her family and communicated infrequently with them. According the Mirror, her sister Jane Shane last saw her at the funeral of their mother in 2008. Shane followed a more traditional Mormon lifestyle as a stay-at-home mom with eight children. The childless Scott told Shane, ¨I envy you.¨

Hearing lessons at church as a child, L'Wren Scott would have learned about an LDS teaching called ¨The Light of Christ.¨ This is a belief that all people, regardless of their faith, have an innate energy to judge good from evil. In other words, a conscience. People are free to choose good or evil, and if they choose evil, they will lose this Light of Christ, though they may still have a memory of it. Did the realization that she had made some bad choices contribute to Scott's decision to take her own life?

While traditional Christianity is still strong in America, it is becoming less important among young people. Faith can be a major roadblock to having ¨fun¨ in life when the minister is preaching against premarital sex, drugs, body piercing, immodest dress, and debasing music. It's just not cool.

Greg Gutfeld's new book, Not Cool: The Hipster Elite and Their War on You, focuses on why the appeal to be cool and edgy, is really stupid and self-damaging. He shows the cool crowd are really bullies and creeps.

The sooner people can learn that embracing the values of pop culture is a recipe for the disaster, the sooner people can avoid some major disappointments in life. It's ironic that the party crowd make risky, selfish choices seeking pleasure and a good time, but in the end it is those who avoid the path of the prodigal son (or daughter) who find true joy in life.

Mick Jagger sings that he can't find no satisfaction. It's because he is looking for it in the wrong place.

P.S. Mick Jagger's views on the role of music was shared in a previous post:

What's The Big Deal About Miley Cyrus at the VMA?

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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

How To Make A Twenty Something Into A Millionaire

Last week I ran across a couple of interesting stats. One, the National Institute on Retirement Security reported that half of U.S. households have saved no more that $3,000 for retirement. Two, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports the average household spends $2,600 a year eating out each year. So when people say they don't have enough extra to save for retirement, that is not true, they are just eating it up. 

My idea is to take advantage of the power of compound interest over a long, long period of time.  There is nothing like it when it comes to growing your wealth. As an extreme example, last month there was a news story about a couple that found a treasure of 19th century gold coins with a face value of $27,000 buried around 1894. It said the coins could have a value of $10 million. However, if this $27,000 had been invested in a diversified stock market investment for 120 years at a reasonable 8%, you would get $276 million.

Here is my idea that could potentially result in people reaching age 70 with a million dollars of their own money, tax free, to spend at retirement. 

1. Create a new Roth IRA type account for citizens age 20-29. Each year allow an investment of up to $2,400. The government will contribute a 33% match which could either be added to the account or taken as a tax return. This would be entirely voluntary, not a requirement and would require earned income, just like any other IRA.

2. If someone takes the $800 back as a tax return, he or she would have invested a net $16,000 of his/her own money over 10 years. Assuming a 8% rate of return and a retirement age of 70, the result would be $881,000, tax free. 

3. If someone adds the $800 to the $2,400, the 8% rate to age 70 would result in $1,175,000, tax free. 

4. The amount available at retirement could be converted to an annuity, or set up on a withdrawal schedule such as 4% of principle each year. 

5. If someone cashes out their account before age 62, the government would assess a 33% penalty to recoup the amount it contributed to the investment. After all, the whole purpose is to encourage retirement savings. If you decided that is not what you want to do, you lose the match.

6. Investment choices would be limited to indexed mutual funds. This will keep fees low and avoid the higher fees and unpredictable returns of managed mutual funds. No individual stocks. No commodity investing. With a 40+ year investment period, you don't need to beat the market rate of return, the market rate of return should be enough and it would be safer. 

7. The max cost to the federal government over 10 years would be $8,000 per participant. How much does the government spend on food stamps and other welfare payments and what do we get from those results? This $8,000 would create millionaires. 

8. Future Social Security is not funded for anyone now in their 20's. As is, the money we pay in Social Security taxes will be gone by the time this generation retires. My program would reduce the need to rely on Social Security for this generation. 

9. Social Security can be vastly unfair, especially to single parents. Someone could work from age 16 to age 70, contributing every year, and if he or she drops dead the day of retirement, all the money they paid is lost to his/her descendants. 

10. If people get into the habit of investing during their 20's, they are likely to keep investing even after the extra $800 each year goes away after age 29. The amount they have by retirement could be much more than $1,000,000. 

11. $2,400 is not that much to set aside each year, even for a young single 20 year old. It is less than $50 a week. How many young people spend that much on Starbucks, clothing, beer, and pizza? 

What is the next step? Obviously I can share my idea with my congressman and senator. What about a Facebook group page? If it got a bunch of likes, it might raise more attention and help it get some action. 

What other feedback do you have? 

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Friday, March 14, 2014

I'm Dangerous and Wrong. Are You?

Last month I picked up a book at the library with an engaging title -- 50 Popular Beliefs That People Think Are True. The book was written by journalist Guy P. Harrison in 2011. The premise of the book was to present silly things that people believe in.

Glancing through the table of contents, I saw a number of beliefs that I could shake my head about and think, ¨Man, how can people belief such stuff?¨ These included:

  • A Psychic Read My Mind
  • ESP Is the Real Deal
  • Nostradamus Saw It All Coming
  • The Holocaust Never Happened
  • NASA Faked the Moon Landings
  • A Flying Saucer Crashed Near Roswell, New Mexico in 1947 and the Government Knows All about It
  • Astrology Is Scientific
  • Most Conspiracy Theories Are True
  • Something Very Strange Is Going on in the Bermuda Triangle
The idea is that believing in such things is kooky, irrational, silly, wrong, and possibly dangerous.

Also on Harrison's list are a bunch of stuff that I believe in (and you might too) that he also thinks is kooky, irrational, silly, wrong, and dangerous, such as:
  • I Know There Is an Afterlife Because of All the Near-Death Experiences
  • I Believe in Miracles
  • Global Warming Is a Political Issue and Nothing More
  • Faith Healing Cures the Sick and Saves Lives
  • Intelligent Design Is Real Science
  • Prayer Works
  • Archaeology Proved My Religion Is True
  • Angels Watch Over Me
  • I'm Going to Heaven When I Die
I will address a few of these individually, but how many people really believe the world would be a better place if everyone thought all of these beliefs were false? I think the world would be a better place if more people believed these things.

I doubt what I have to say will change Mr. Harrison's mind, because he is very good at making his case in a narrow, legalistic way. However, I think there can be a strong case made that these things that I, and many others, believe in are true.

For example, Harrison is skeptical of near-death experiences. He wrote his book before Ebam Alexander's excellent book Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon's Near-Death Experience and Journey into the Afterlife. I think I will believe Dr. Alexander over Mr. Harrison. Harrison would find it difficult to explain how Alexander found out about his dead sister that he only learned about through his near-death experience.

Harrison's position on global warming is equally laughable. A fair-minded skeptic would include global warming as something that you can't believe in based on what we know. However, Harrison blinding states, ¨I am convinced that global warming is real.¨ So debate over, move on. Sorry, but the science is not settled, and more important, the solutions proposed by liberals to address the ¨problem¨ cost so much that the solution is worse than the problem.

Harrison is once again showing his bias (and ignorance) when he claims intelligent design is just repackaged creationism. His book came out before Stephen Meyer's excellent Darwin's Doubt: The Explosive Origin of Animal Life and the Case for Intelligent Design. Meyer's argument is clearly not repackaged creationism, but something tells me that Harrison would not even bother to read the book because it would undermine his belief system. 

Until an angel personally visits Harrison, he believes such beings are all a figment of our imaginations. My grandfather's elder brother fought in World War I. He ran messages through the trenches. While he was in Europe, his father died but the news did not reach him when a week later he was lost in the trenches. If he went the wrong way he would be captured by the Germans. To his surprise his father appeared to him and pointed the direction to safety. Well, because Mr. Harrison was not there, I guess we have to believe that this never happened.

Harrison obviously believes that any time spent on religion is a waste of time. Prayer is pointless. Jesus never did any miracles. And don't bother looking to archaeology to find proof of your religion because the Bible is just a bunch of fables recorded by ignorant goat herders. I disagree. Harrison's ¨better, more rational¨ world without religion would not be pretty. Believers know better about the power of prayer, the reality of miracles (ancient and modern), and even the archaeological evidence of Biblical events.  

Skeptical secularists like Harrison dream of a better world where people have abandoned the silly belief in God and all that comes with it. Well, they don't have to dream about it. We already have examples of society where the rulers and decision makers are skeptical secularists. Secularism gave us Stalin's Russia, Mao's China, and Pol Pot's Cambodia.

If we want America to be a better place we need less skeptical secularism, not more.

P.S. There is a chapter titled ¨The Bible Code Reveals the Future.¨ One of the evidences Harrison uses to debunk this believe is to point out that the Bible Code got it wrong when it predicted Yasser Arafat would be assassinated when he actually died of illness at age seventy-five. Whoops! Since Harrison wrote his book we have learned that Arafat died from polonium poisoning. Queue the Twilight Zone music.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

A Liberal, Conservative, and Libertarian Joke

I've added a new twist to my favorite political joke.

A liberal, a conservative, and a libertarian are walking down the street together and see a panhandler.

The conservative stops, pulls out his wallet, gives the man a $10 bill and a business card, and says, ¨Here's some money to buy a meal. Show up at the address on my business card tomorrow and see if we can get you a job.¨

They keep walking down the street and see another panhandler.

The liberal stops and says, ¨I'll take this one. Give me one of your business cards.¨ He writes something on the back of the card, reaches into the conservative's pants and pulls out his wallet, removing $50. He then gives the panhandler $50 and the card and says, ¨Here's some money to buy a meal and some new clothes. Tomorrow, go to the address on the back of this card. It's the local welfare office where they can get you more money that you are entitled too.¨

The libertarian goes up to this same panhandler and says, ¨For $50 I will sell you some drugs.¨

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Monday, March 10, 2014

New NFL Cuss Words

So the NFL has caught the PC bug and it is currently debating penalizing players who use coarse language while playing the game. What's next, dishonorably discharging sailors for swearing? Fining rap singers for crude words?

I am no big fan of political correctness, but I am also not a big fan of foul language. I grew up with the grandma rule of polite speech -- you should use language you would be comfortable using around your grandmother. And since my grandmother was not a Marine drill sergeant, that left out the kind of words that professional football players throw at each other in the heat of the game.

Pro football players should not despair. Should the NFL ban naughty words, they can use words made popular by an old master of the language, William Shakespeare and a new master of the language, Tim Hawkins.

Here are some fightin' words to throw across the scrimmage line that will avoid a penalty flag:

¨Though art a flesh-monger, a fool and a coward.¨

¨You tooter!¨

¨You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.¨

¨Your mother eats bull twinkies!¨

¨There's no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune¨

¨You son of a biscuit eater! You son of a baptist preacher! You son of a bacon bit. You son of a motherless goat!¨

¨Though art as loathsome as a toad.¨

¨Good googlie-mooglie!¨

¨Go prick thy face and over-red thy fear. Thou lily liver'd boy.¨

¨Jumping Jehosiphats! You bucket head.¨

¨Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow catch!¨

¨You horse petootie!¨

¨You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish. O for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!¨

¨Shut the front door!¨

¨Peace, ye fat guts!¨

¨Crud muffins!¨

¨Thou poisonous bunch-back'd toad!¨

¨You fart knocker!¨

¨Your virginity breeds mites, much like cheese.¨

¨Holy guacamole!¨

¨Come, come, you forward and unable worms!¨

¨Shut your pie hole and kiss my grits!¨

¨Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.¨

 Any other non-swearing insults you would recommend to football players?

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Thursday, March 6, 2014

All Star Conservative Baseball Team

Spring is in the air which means Major League Baseball will be playing soon and many armchair managers will be putting together their fantasy baseball lineups. What if we could build a baseball team using conservative media figures? What would an all star team look like?

Here is my batting order selection using conservative radio talk show hosts for the fielders and conservative writers for the pitching staff.

1. RF - Michael Savage
(useful stats: 19th year, 5 million weekly listeners) Savage is a dangerous lead off batter who is not afraid to take some wild swings. He pretty much owns right field; you won't find him wandering into the center and definitely never into the left. Some say his game is not what it once was, but you don't want to make him angry and leave him in a pitch count where he can swing for the bleachers.

2. 3B - Glenn ¨The Blaze" Beck
(useful stats: 12th year, 7.5 million weekly listeners, 1 Marconi Award) Beck plays with a lot of emotion and energy. He is Lou Gehrig to Limbaugh's Babe Ruth. He attracts big crowds wherever he plays. He has a lot of reverence for the game and likes to talk about the old timers like Washington and Adams. Likes to wear number 912.

3. 2B - Sean Hannity
(useful stats: 12th year, 13.25 million weekly listeners, 2 Marconi Awards) Hannity benefits from having Limbaugh's popular show just before his, but he is no lightweight. Like a Bo Jackson or a Deon Sanders, he is one of the few successful two sport players with a TV show to compliment his radio show. With him on second base and Limbaugh on first base, there are a lot of innings were the libs find them down two outs on one deft double play.

4. 1B - Rush ¨El Rushbo¨ Limbaugh
(useful stats: 25th year, 14 million weekly listeners, 4 Marconi Awards) The Babe Ruth of talk radio. Larger than life, his bat puts the fear in liberal pitchers. They have tried, with little effect, to damage his game by going after his sponsors, but he still remains at the top of his game.

5. C - Mark ¨The Great One¨ Levin
(useful stats: 8th year, 7.5 million weekly listeners) With legal training, a quick mind, and a fast tongue, Levin is tough opponent for any liberal pitcher. Any pitcher able to withstand the lineup preceding Levin will still have to throw heat to keep Levin from getting a hit. As a catcher, Levin known for his chattering with the opposing batters. He gives nicknames to liberals such as Al Not-So Sharpton, The Spiteful Troll (Al Franken), Rachel Mad-Cow, and Barack Millhouse Obama.

6. SS - Laura Ingraham
(useful stats: 12th year, 3.25 million weekly listeners) At the shortstop position and playing her show at the same time as Beck's, Ingraham may not catch as many line drives, but she is a great fielder and there are few better when matching one on one wits with a liberal opponent. Has been known to razzle the other team in Russian or Spanish.

7. CF - Michael ¨Laser Beam¨ Medved
(useful stats: 17th year, 3.5 million weekly listeners) Medved is a great center fielder, not afraid to engage from the left or the right. One of the smartest players there is, with an phenomenal memory for history, there is not much that Medved can't field and he has a great arm to throw liberals out. He likes challenging the liberal team's best pitchers and gets on base more times than not. He also is a threat to steal due to his knowledge of knowing what liberals will do ahead of time.

8. LF - Dennis Miller
(useful stats: 7th year, 2.5 million weekly listeners) It's hard to find a conservative willing to play left field, but Miller is a good choice. He has some socially liberal views, but he is respectful of social conservatives and plays conservative with the rest of his game. He'll take pitches some conservatives won't hit and any liberal thinking they can hit to him and get on base will quickly learn otherwise.

9. DH - Mark Steyn
(useful stats: 3 best sellers) Limbaugh's go-to-fill-in when he can't play first base, Mark Steyn is from Canada, so baseball isn't his natural sport. However, his wit and intellect is beautifully displayed in both radio and print. If you haven't read his America Alone, you have missed one of the most important books of the last decade. Also, he's not a bad big band style singer.

Pitching Staff:

Ann ¨Firebrand¨ Coulter
(useful stats: 10 best sellers) Liberal batters are advised not to stand too close to the plate. Coulter would just as soon aim for the head than throw a strikeout. Perhaps no pitcher can cause a Liberal to fall off his game like Coulter. She mainly throws fast and hard. She's not afraid to play Ty Cobb style and sometimes even some conservatives say she play too mean. On a side note, Coulter is inspiration for Nicole Duran, the main character in my play Inherit the Wind: Overturned by Design.

Charles ¨The Doctor¨ Krauthammer
(useful stats: 29 years with The Washington Post, 1 Pulitzer Prize, 1 best seller) The Doctor has been called the most influential pitcher in America. Few pitchers can throw the types of pitchers that leave liberals confused and frustrated. Changeups, sliders, curveballs, screwballs, no matter what he throws its bound to leave his liberal opponents dazed and confused.

George Will
(useful stats: 14 best sellers, 1 Pulitzer Prize) Although a veteran pitcher with more good games behind him than before him, Will has been called the most powerful pitcher in America. Many younger pitchers learned their craft by watching this master perform. The dean of conservative pitchers, you would definitely want to put him on the mound during a World Series.

Thomas ¨The Professor¨ Sowell
(useful stats: 13 best sellers, 1 National Humanities Medal) Perhaps no pitcher in the game knows the mechanics better than The Professor. He can read any liberal batter's rotten batting stance and fan him out with economy. He can judge as good as anyone how poorly liberals understand the rules of baseball and why they have to cheat to succeed.

What does your fantasy all star conservative baseball team look like? Any other fielders you would put on your card? What about pitchers?  Which aces would you included on the pitching staff?

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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Fiddlin' - Putin On The Blitz

Last summer the popular satirical singing group The Capitol Steps came out with a parody song about Vladimir Putin's support for Syria using Irving Berlin's Puttin' on the Ritz, which was a perfect song to re-title Putin on a Blitz.

Now with Russia's invasion of Ukraine's Crimea, it is time to redo the song for the current situation.

Putin On The Blitz

(sing to the Irving Berlin tune, Puttin' On The Ritz)

Have you seen the Ukraine news
Putin's really lit a fuse
Through Crimean  thoroughfares
With tank muzzles in the air

Jack boots and stiff-board collars
Gun butts and lots of maulers
Invasion ain't a crime,
It's a wonderful time!

Now, if you're Red
And you don't know where to shoot lead
Why don't you go where Ukraine sits
Putin on the blitz

Bloody types who knock a foe off
Troops with stripes and Kalashikovs
Perfect fits
Putin on the blitz

Dressed up like a shirtless evil goblin
Trying hard to look like Joseph Stalin
Now he's haulin'

Come, lets mix where army fellahs
Walk with sticks or bayonetahs
In their mitts
Putin on the blitz

(short instrumental break)

Tips his hat just like a commie chappie
To reclaim Ukraine makes him happy
What the crappy?

You'll declare it's simply topping
To be there and hear guns popping
Til Ukraine quits
Putin on the blitz

For an index of all Fiddling Ant parody songs, click here.

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Sunday, March 2, 2014

He's the Best U.S. President

He's a liberal. The majority of the people in his country are not too thrilled with him right now. He replaced a conservative president who did not live up to expectations.

And he is the best president of the United States today.

It goes without saying this can't be Barack Obama.  The person I am describing is Enrique Pena Nieto, President of the United States of Mexico.

So what has Pena Nieto been able to accomplish that has proved impossible for his American neighbor?

1. Pena Nieto has figured out how to grow the economy. Mexico's GDP growth is over 3% while America's is under 2%.
2. Mexico's government bond rating has moved up to A- under Pena Nieto, the highest in Mexican history. Meanwhile America's bond rating has gone down, for the first time ever, under Obama.
3. Mexico's unemployment rate was at 4.25% at the end of 2013. Meanwhile America's unemployment rate has been slow to return to pre-Obama numbers.  It is still above 6.6%.
4. In a big change that caught the world by surprise, Pena Nieto was able to get the Mexican legislature to allow foreign investment in the oil industry for the first time in 75 years. He worked with both conservatives and liberals to get it done.  Meanwhile, Obama has been dragging his own feet on American energy development and has proved utterly incapable of ideas that can be supported by both Democrats and Republicans. His one-party Affordable Care Act is an unfolding disaster.
5. Despite teacher's unions being a big supporter of his party, Pena Nieto is pushing reforms that will take away their power and improve the Mexican education system.  Meanwhile, here in America, Obama takes steps to eliminate school choice and support teacher's unions over children. His support for union perks as part of Obama Care also demonstrates his propensity to look out for special interest groups with actions that hurt the nation as a whole.

Pena Nieto is actually not that popular right now (tough choices can do that to a politician), but he has taken important steps to improve his country. Obama is also unpopular right now (lying to people about keeping their health insurance can do that), but it is because he has taken ill conceived steps to weaken his country.

And that's why Pena Nieto is the best U.S. President.

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